I’m Sleeping with the Boss: Inside the Business and Bedroom
Photography by Lauren Indrisie
“So, who’s sleeping with the boss?” I ask Abbey. She doesn’t miss a beat. “He is.” Richard’s response? “I am. And I like it that way.”
This kind of quick, candid exchange is what makes Abbey and Richard tick. They’re not just business partners running a successful real estate firm, they’re also husband and wife, parents, and partners in life.
Kiwi Couples in Business: A Common Dynamic
In New Zealand, Abbey and Richard’s setup isn’t unique. Stats show that roughly one-third of Kiwi small businesses are family-run, with many couples leading the charge. But what makes their dynamic stand out is how they manage to thrive in both their professional and personal lives, without burning out.
“People ask us how we separate work from home,” Abbey says, “and the truth is, we don’t always. Sometimes we’re discussing deals over dinner, and sometimes the toddler’s meltdown interrupts a conference call. That’s life, and it works for us.”
No Boardroom-Bedroom Boundaries?
So, how do you keep the boardroom out of the bedroom? “We don’t,” Richard says. “There are no strict lines. If you think running a business with your spouse means you’re never going to talk shop in bed, think again.”
Abbey’s approach is similar: “We talk about work because it’s a huge part of our lives. But the real trick is knowing when to let it go and focus on each other or the family. It’s not about rigid rules, it’s about balance.”
They’ve learned to adjust. When business peaks and personal life demands, they pivot, whether that’s stepping into each other’s roles or stepping back to take a breather. The key? Trust. “If you’re working together,” Abbey says, “you need to trust that your partner has your back, at home and in business.”
Trust and Respect: The Foundation
It’s trust, but also respect, that keeps Abbey and Richard moving forward. “There’s no room for ego in this,” Richard adds. “We both want the same thing, success, for the business and for each other. If Abbey’s thriving in one area, I step in elsewhere. It’s about picking up the slack and keeping things running smoothly, even when the pressure’s on.”
Abbey agrees. “We succeed together, but we also want to see each other succeed individually. That’s a huge part of what makes this work.”
Clear Roles, Shared Responsibility
They may have clearly defined roles, Abbey manages her sales and team, the operations, Richard is the Managing Director and the face of the business, but at the end of the day, they’re in it together. “There’s no ‘his job’ and ‘my job,’” Richard says. “There’s just what needs to get done.”
This fluid approach is something that defines many successful partnerships, particularly when personal and professional lives collide. Whether it’s picking up the slack at work or at home (they have a toddler, and another on the way), it’s about filling in for each other when needed.
Keeping It Together
“People think working with your spouse is a recipe for disaster, but that’s only if you don’t communicate,” Abbey says. “We talk. About everything. Business, home, what we want, what’s going wrong. If we weren’t transparent with each other, we’d implode.”
They also make time to reconnect outside of work. “It’s not all about date nights,” Richard adds. “Sometimes, it’s just sitting quietly on the couch after a crazy day. No work, Oscar in bed asleep, no stress, just us.”
Their ability to juggle it all, growing a business, raising a family, and finding time for themselves, is what makes them stand out. And that’s not to say it’s easy. “You’ve got to want it,” Richard says. “Want the business to grow, want the relationship to thrive, and be willing to put in the work for both.”
The outcome of sleeping with the boss?
For Abbey and Richard, the outcome is clear. A thriving business. A growing family. And the knowledge that they’ve built something meaningful, together. And as they prepare for the arrival of their second child, Richard grins. “Turns out, sleeping with the boss does have its perks.”
